Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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