I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
