So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
and you fell through a lawn chair
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
