people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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