I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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