i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
