My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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