i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
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I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
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I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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