I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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