Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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