Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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