Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
don't judge my taste in strippers
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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