i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
