i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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