Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
