Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
