she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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