doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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