you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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