Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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