She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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