We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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