i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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