I bet he comes in French.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
