I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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