she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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