I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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