go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
