he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I got her a Nickelback box set.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
