The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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