ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
