I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
