whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
