i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
