literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
