So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
