I'm sorry my penis didn't work
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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