and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
