I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
