your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
