Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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