the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He did a backflip because drugs
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
