so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
