Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
