Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
