You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
