So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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