New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
