We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
