How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
