Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
