I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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