He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
