People in love make me want to vomit
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize