shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
