we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
