I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize