I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
